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Monday, July 13, 2009

Crow Rib Roast

Bill and I had our first meeting after the coup, I mean, smooth transition. He asked me what I thought our value drivers were. I said I wasn't sure any more. The retro-Black Forest kitsch movement was over and people were throwing their antler chandeliers into the recycling bin (as well as our products). He was befuddled. Well, that's right his career has been putting coal in childrens' Christmas stockings not interior design,home furnishings or the gift and tourist industries. I threw out a new idea: because of the current economic conditions people were doing "staycations", but still wanted to feel like they had been to Europe. There was a need for fake souvenirs. In other words people could claim to their ski bunny and ski bunny venture capitalist friends that they had been to Tuscany when in fact they were in Fairfield in the Quality Inn enjoying compimentary breakfasts. So, I suggested to our new CEO that we open shops all over the U.S. called "All the Junk You Forgot to Bring Home from Europe." He suggested I work from home.

As they say in the Tao of Communication: Patterns in people's reactions to change enable the organization to effectively manage human behaviors.

4 comments:

Salty Miss Jill said...

Brilliant idea if I do say so myself. You could also have a tropics wing with coconut monkeys.

Gregg Biggs said...

I ran into Bill's wife Daphne a couple of years ago at a silent auction for the Transgendered Juvenile Alzheimer's Association. She'd had a few too many cosmopolitans and was spilling the beans about some of Bill's dirty doings such as his scorched earth strategy to get oil out of the Amazon. He pulled her away just as she told me that her bracelet was not made from ivory but human bones he procured for her. Bill tried to put a happy face on it and claimed it was part of her routine in the graduate program at the Hyena Comedy Institute.

Steve said...

I would TOTALLY go to Fairfield for that.

For your tagline, you should say "Don't be a Neville Chamberlain!" (He forgot to bring home a lasting peace.)

fancynotions said...

I can't believe you're giving Bill such sound advice. The man stabbed you in the back, sir...