Monday, March 8, 2010

Digdug Sued

"How dare you!" I screamed over the speakerphone at the attorney. "I've been going to the clambake since before you were born. I know Kathryn Crosby!"

The reason he called me was this: I displayed a pic of the Lone Cypress on my last blog entry (the photo is now removed). The tree is, apparently, a registered trademark of the Pebble Beach Company.

No one can paint, sculpt, or photograph the Lone Cypress nor use it in any video or performance art and then sell the work product. There are signs posted around the tree "DO NOT PAINT" and "NO PERFORMANCE ART." Though my blog is free and I gain nothing monetarily from it (believe it or not) I took down a photo from my last post. How did an impressionistic painting of the Lone Cypress end up on this post? I believe that a hacker posted it there and forged my name.

At any rate I am ready to fully cooperate and orz in front of the Pebble Beach Company so as not to risk my placing in or winning the Concours d' Elegance with my Chrysler Portobello.

Speaking of artists, according to the Monterey Weekly artist Paxton Mobley painted "Happy Hour at the Lone Cypress" showing a tree used as a table with a brandy glass on top of it. He is now forbidden to even set foot on Pebble Beach property or I would invite him to the Concours.

BTW, I asked the attorney if it was okay to leave the 3,000 year old Hindu painting of a cypress on my last blog entry. He said he would think about it.


LadrĂ³n de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

I am working on a biography called "Why Does the Caged Cypress Cry?" that tells why it is such a lonely tree. Its story will make you weep more than a willow. You can't paint or photograph it, but it's fine to interview it. It's good that Barbara Walters is slowly stepping away from her celebrity interviews, otherwise she would have it on her show and ask, "So tell me, Lone Cypress, which Katherine Hepburn character are you?"

Steve said...

They won't let anyone PAINT the tree? Why not just put up a big billboard that says "I HAVE ATTACHMENT ISSUES!! I'LL BE A SLIME MOLD IN MY NEXT LIFE. PEACE OUT!"