The Kama 'aina

A kama 'aina is not someone born in Hawaii, but someone who has lived there a long time. Such a person is Dick Van Patten, who, in a Hawaiian television commercial in the 80's advertised timeshares (or something like that), ending his spiel by saying "Take it from me, the kama 'aina."

Every since then Dick was dubbed, by my friends and me the Kama 'aina.

One day as I pushed out the revolving doors of the Digdug Cuckoo Clock Company's tower, there, jogging on the bricks of Market Street, San Francisco, in a pair of too-tight 70's running shorts was the Kama 'aina. I immediately called a friend and shrieked in the phone: "GUESS WHO I SAW ON MARKET STREET? THE KAMA 'AINA!" There was silence on the other end of the phone. I guess he wasn't as impressed by bad celebrities as I was.