Friday, February 19, 2010


Chrysler has a new mid-size luxury car - the Portobello. Apparently a marketing expert was leafing through Elizabeth Schneider's Plants from Amaranth to Zucchini when the name popped out at him. Amaranth is one of the most beautiful words and a strange flower grandma grew. It is edible and used as a dye, in fact it's Red Dye No. 2. To quote Arthur Rimbaud:

The Lily they bestow on the Bard
Together with the pink and the amaranth!

Unfortunately, amaranth is a bit of a mouthful for a gum-chewing car salesman, thus the name Portobello stuck. The car "quotes" the Cordoba including a fabulously retro analog clock. The LS model features Corinthian you-know-what seats in a 70's mushroom color. The LS also has shag carpeting.

WARNING: Do not pick wild mushrooms. Period.

John Cage likes to pick wild mushrooms, but he's an amateur mycologist. Click here to see his interactive mushroom piece. Ricardo Montalban passed just last year. Perhaps Tony Bennett can take his place driving a Portobello. Here is his tag line:

Bella! Bella! Portobello!

Being round like a mushroom cap the Portobello seating arrangement is a revolution. Passengers sit inside in a circular padded leather conversation pit. The vehicle is steered by the group leaning this way or that. It is a team sport like yacht racing.


Anonymous said...

So Bryce, have you purchased a Portobello? It might be just the car for you. :) Have a great weekend. The Bach

Steve said...

Gives a whole new meaning to the expression "key party," doesn't it?

Bryce Digdug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bryce Digdug said...

Bachelor - yes I bought a Portobello...but it was recalled.

Steve, you orginal key party comment awhile ago was the funniest comment ever.

LadrĂ³n de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Too bad Saturn went under just before they got to launch the Shitake. It was going to be their Avanti.